Im back bitches.
Although living without the internet has caused me to revert back to my age old list system and obsessive compulsive issues.
Old news.
Anyhoo.
This week I rolled over Tuesday morning and honestly considered not doing the eight million bullshit errands on my list and instead, keeping my children out of school.
Why?
Because I was too lazy to get my ridiculous ass out of bed and take them. I just wanted to sleep and I already knew I would never be able to actually bathe myself and I didnt really want to change clothes because it was cold. I hate changing clothes when its cold in my house. I also knew that when I went upstairs to wake up the crazies, I would be opening a can of worms that I was not ready to deal with until after a minimum of two and a half cups of coffee and I didnt have TIME to drink all that coffee AND get them ready for school. DAMMIT. Im getting frustrated just thinking about it.
So, I drug my lazy self out of bed and woke up the crazies, which became a nightmare as my daughter now has new image stipulations that I CANT DEAL WITH DAMMIT. We fought over clothes, we fought over socks, we fought over hair, we fought over wiping our ass post shitting. Socks became a moot point when I realized I didnt have matching socks. The mismatching socks became an issue and then what flavor pop tart became a problem. Im done. Just. Done.
So we roll up in the preschool line and I crack the window while screaming "their socks dont match, dont judge me" then I speed away with rap music turned up to eardrum crushing decibels and immediately light a cigarette. After getting home and showering I STILL didnt do the eight million things on my to do list because I was recovering from the hell that my morning had been. So, I do what every other mom does when she needs to escape her crazy life and I drink coffee, read my book, watch some reality tv, and generally do whatever the fuck I want (except anything to do with housecleaning, even if I WANT to do it, I still refuse.)
Then I pick the crazies up and am greeted by their sweet preschool teacher, who has a flyer printed out, explaining that Fifths Disease has gone through the entire four year class and for my husband and I to be on the alert for any symptoms. Apparently it's highly contagious.
yay.
Just. Really.
Are you fucking kidding me right now.
On the upside, they would be out of school for about three weeks.
Answer to my prayers.
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
