Sunday, May 15, 2011

why I love my kids, but hate your kids.

 

I dont generally like children.

Think what you want, but I fucking LOVE my children.

I just dont like yours. oops. That slipped out.

When I was in high school and college I took care of lots of children, I was the fucking QUEEN of under-the-table child-care.

My point is, people ask me all the time to get together for "play dates". How do you tell someone that their kid will probably harass the fucking dog shit out of you and by the end of purported "play date", you will cease being friends? I cant stand whining, if the child bothers my children, they and probably I will take him/her out. My kids actually have very few child friends. The one or two they have I hold onto with both hands because they have character, they dont whine, they dont sit around eating junk food all day, they dont spit when they talk and generally, they are adorable. So, thanks anyway, but my children have enough friends. Not only do they have one another (they are twins), but they have me. And I'm the coolest fucking friend around. I can drive. I can buy beer. I. AM. FUCKING. AWESOME.

Moral of the story. Dont ask me on playdates. Because when I refuse, you will know the truth about your kid. They are fucking annoying and being around them at all is an exercise in self-control because all I wanna do is throw them in a ditch and sic my kids on them. And yes, my baby girls are much like myself. :) Good day bloggers.

No comments:

Post a Comment