hi there. allow me to introduce myself. my name is "I dont give a shit about your life on facebook"

helllooooo bloggers.

something struck me yesterday.

facebook is quite the invention and I love it, generally speaking it allows me to post the goofy and ridiculous about my life online so that others may laugh at my expense. I do that all the time, I crack jokes on myself, make fun of any situation I'm in, and enjoy it.

After all, if you cant laugh at yourself, whom may you laugh with when the insane happens. I love sharing, even if it's at my expense.

However,

Ive noticed that some people put their WHOLE life stories on facebook, in an effort for others to feel sorry fo their situation.

Newsflash:

I dont care.

Nobody does.

Im sorry your car got reposessed. I'm sorry that you have the sniffles. But frankly, I could not give two monkey fucks. STOP putting that shit on facebook!! It's fucking dumb. You are dumb. Quit it.

And when something truly horrible happens. People are not gonna give a damn because it will just become another chapter in your horrible life.

Talk about funny things, random things. Topics others will enjoy and appreciate. GOOGLE A QUOTE FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. I performed an experiment last night, (I read the entire wall of four people from my newsfeed) and for quite a few young mothers, you're either not caring for your kids appropriately, or you need a better damn doctor. Why? Because those rugrats are sick everyother day. Do yourself a favor. Pull up your facebook wall. Read EVERY DAMN STATUS you have written for the past year, if it's all negative, if it's all about how sick you've been, or how your boyfriend/girlfriend is SO MEAN to you or you cant pay your bills. Kill yourself. Right now. Do it. I'm telling you to, because your life fucking sucks.


On that note, if you are still alive and reading this, please stop writing stupid, sad, woe-is-me facebook status updates. If your too chicken to take yourself out of your own misery, then I'm gonna tell you what my plan is for you. I'm gonna defriend you. Right now, as soon as I finish writing this blog. In fact, I might just defriend ANYONE who has a shitty facebook profile that doesnt either amuse, enrage or intrigue me. See you later bitches.

Have a nice day. :)